R.O.A.M. One-Minute Mindfulness Model

This post describes a “tool” that you can use in everyday life (and in meditation) to quickly bring mindfulness to stress reactivity and experience the freedom, peace and unconditional love that is already here, already what you are. The tool consists of 4 short steps we can apply right in the middle of the day, whenever we have a moment to ourselves. All 4 steps together take less than a minute. And they can be repeated as many times as you like.

R.O.A.M. Mindfulness Model

  1. Recognize you're stressed

  2. Open to awareness

  3. Allow what's here to be here

  4. Move forward with wisdom

Recognize you’re stressed

What to do in this step: Notice that stress is happening! Notice the experience of feeling off-balance or even overwhelmed - almost as if you were a scientist standing off to the side with a clipboard. Oh, there it is, my heart is racing, I feel fearful, maybe even a little panicky. That’s all you need to do in this hugely important step.

Why this is needed: It wakes you up from the story your internal narrator is telling. It interrupts the cycle of stress reactivity and brings more of your brain back online. Just take a few seconds for this.

Open to awareness

What to do in this step: Notice the part of you that knows you’re stressed but isn’t itself stressed. No deep searching required here — this is readily apparent. It’s so obvious it’s easy to discount: So what? Yeah, there’s a piece of me that’s watching this and doesn’t seem impacted — but meanwhile I’m feeling awful! Just pretend for now you trust this part of yourself that isn’t stressed. If your mind needs a little more “to do” at this point, literally ask yourself: What’s here now that knows I’m stressed, but isn’t stressed?

Why this is needed: The “you” that’s the reactive, stressed pattern isn’t very good at untangling itself. Luckily, that’s not all there is to you. Your awareness which has been quietly standing by has got your back. Just connect with it. This step can be as short as 10 seconds once you’ve got the hang of it; if you have more time, rest in awareness as long as you like.

Allow what’s here to be here

What to do in this step: Notice that awareness can embrace whatever is happening without arguing with it. Even if your internal narrator is perhaps still screaming I can’t stand this ! I’ve had enough! Awareness is your very own internal Zen master that’s unperturbed and always standing by. When you are “allowing what’s here to be here” you are acknowledging what’s already here, just as it is — not minimizing and not exaggerating.

Why this is needed: Well, you’ve probably already tried various other tactics to suppress, deny, run away from, act out, etc. It turns out allowing actually works*.

Move forward with wisdom

What to do in this step: Acting from awareness is way more likely to be effective than whatever your stressed-out reactive pattern would have come up with. Notice that the possibilities for action (including non-action) have suddenly multiplied.

Why this is needed: Even just taking one small step to integrate whatever insight you’ve gained from the previous steps is worthwhile. The goal isn’t to be apart from your life or even your unpleasant emotions. Each small step bringing this wisdom into your day will build greater trust in your own resourcefulness.

* Psychoneuroendocrinology Jan 2018 https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29040891/

Common Mindfulness Questions 7

I'm fine with silent meditation, but once I open my mouth I'm not mindful at all! Does this ever get better?

Bringing mindfulness to communicating is a bit more challenging than paying attention to the sensations of the breath. This is where purposeful pauses can help us: By establishing the habit to use the common occurrences of our day to remind us to bring our attention to the present, we are eventually able to weave mindfulness into more complex activities, such as speaking and listening. It's also helpful to recognize that the attention and focus we bring to these complex activities is much lighter and broader than the close attention we may place on the sensations of breathing when we are sitting still with closed eyes.

Common Mindfulness Questions 6

I can't sit still for 10 minutes, is it OK if I move around?

Through mindfulness practice we begin to learn more about the inter-relationship between the body and the mind. Just as we have developed the habit for our minds to spend a great deal of time jumping into the imagined future or rehashing the past, so too, we have developed the habit for our bodies to continually shift position in response to the slightest uncomfortable sensation, usually without our being aware of it. Quieting the habitual jumpiness of the body supports us in aiming and sustaining attention, which in turn, strengthens the mind's ability to focus. So we do our best to not shift position automatically and bring awareness to any movements we decide to make.

Common Mindfulness Questions 5

Can I listen to music while meditating?

This depends on what you are looking to develop through this practice. The inclination to put some music on to meditate with, at least in early stages of learning the practice, might be coming from a wish to be entertained or to "chill out." In other words, a wish to get away from whatever is happening now. The aim of mindfulness practice, however, is to strengthen our ability to stay with what is occurring in our experience, and to see clearly what's true for us now. Over time, if incorporating music into formal practice still interests you, then experiment, remembering to notice if this seems to support your ability to remain attentive and curious, or not.

Common Mindfulness Questions 4

How long will it take before I notice a difference?

Not surprisingly, there is a good deal of variability in how this practice impacts people's lives and when they start to see those changes occur. That said, it's fairly common for people to report within a couple of weeks of dedicated practice that they were able to meet a situation with a new sense of having choice in how they respond. These are the early signs of developing a degree of freedom from our automatic and habitual tendencies. Something else to consider: Co-workers, family and friends sometimes notice these changes before we ourselves are clearly aware of them.

Common Mindfulness Questions 3

Yesterday my meditation was easy and today it was hard: My mind just kept drifting away to my weekend plans. What am I doing wrong?
First for the bad news: This is a very good description of doing the practice "correctly." Your question shows you now know some things about your own mind. You know that the mind you sat down to meditate with today was very different than the mind you sat down with yesterday. You know what "today's mind" was intent on doing: planning for the weekend. And you know your mind is quite happy to go ahead and do what it intends to do without asking for "your" permission! Great! The good news is that you also recognized at some point that the mind had "drifted away." The practice is to use that recognition to gently redirect the attention back to our intended focus. Some days our mind will throw a lot at us and we get a lot of practice redirecting; others, our mind will be settled and content to sustain attention on whatever we intend. Either way, our practice is to be with whatever our experience is, with as much self-compassion and curiosity as is available to us.

Common Mindfulness Questions 2

How can paying attention to brushing my teeth help me? Isn't it better if I use that time for planning my day?

Most of us have spent years practicing this habit of not paying attention to our lives as they are unfolding. So, the bigger picture is that you are learning to shift from a habit of continually projecting into the future or ruminating about the past, to a habit of being aware of what's really happening now. Training the attention to stay with experience as it is occurring supports the mind's ability to see things clearly and learn. We begin to see what truly is present, not what we wish or fear is present; we begin to interact with experience as it is, not colored by our habitual "filters" or automatic views. We begin to unravel our struggles with experience, and in doing so, are better able to respond in daily life to whatever comes up with creativity and heart. And so, when it's time to plan your day, you can really be there, with all your capabilities, for planning your day.

Common Mindfulness Questions: 1

Welcome! For the next few weeks I will be posting one question each week that commonly comes up when people begin a mindfulness practice. The content of these posts was previously published on Huffington Post under the title 7 Common Mindfulness Questions, Answered.

Enjoy

1. What does sitting still with my eyes closed have to do with my job, or my life in general?

Formal sitting meditation is similar in some ways to practicing your golf putt with a cup on the floor, playing piano scales or shooting hoops. Sitting with your eyes closed while paying attention to the breath or sounds is a training; it's not "the game." But like other activities we practice with repetition, it helps to strengthen our ability to focus. Developing focus is an essential element of leadership excellence; without it, we perpetually skim the surface of experience, never resting long enough to understand what is truly before us and what response is called for now.